Deborah Berger

 

Deborah Berger felt compelled to work on Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing. In her own words:"I tell people Dear Mom was born on a plane - and that's literally true. I was coming back from a visit with a close friend. We had talked about lots of things, including our moms.

Sitting on the plane, I thought about how powerful mothers were - how their legacies can guide our lives and impact us in ways we may not even realize. My mind flashed to a woman I knew; let's call her Mary. She was in her 70s, her mom had been gone for four decades, but when Mary talked about her, you could almost see the mom. And Mary's mom didn't need an invitation to give advice or opinions! It was clear that the mom's voice was very much alive in her daughter. It was also clear that Mary had lots to say to her mom: some of which she had never put into words, even to herself. I realized this was true for almost all women I knew - of course, including me. I got off the plane knowing I had to find a way to explore this intense, primal connection we have with our mothers."

Deborah Berger, M.S.W., is an author and freelance journalist whose articles have been published in Parade, Ladies’ Home Journal, Working Mother, and other magazines. She lives in Seattle with her husband and son. Visit the Dear Mom Letters website at http://www.dearmomletters.com/

“Dear Mom: Women’s Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing is emboldening, soothing, heartbreaking, inspiring. It’s hard to put this book down, but once you do, you’ll pick up a pen.” —Ariel Gore, author of The Mother Trip and The Hip Mama Survival Guide

“Poignant, tender, and soulful, Dear Mom calls to the child in all of us, to remember the force that shapes who we are. Through their most intimate writings to their mothers, these daughters show us how our own truthful words can heal and transform us at last.” —Michele Weldon, author of Writing to Save Your Life: How to Honor Your Story Through Journaling

 

 

Page One: Where did you grow up and was reading and writing
a part of your life? Who were your earliest influences and why?"

Deborah Berger: I grew up in the Washington, D.C. area. A company town in which the company is the federal government! Reading and writing was a big part of my life from an early age. I was - I still am - fascinated by the choices people make, the risks they take, the challenges they face - and how they respond.One book that affected me deeply was The Diary of Anne Frank. I read it over and over. As an adolescent, I read voraciously: a lot of James Baldwin, Joan Didion, Salinger of course. These days, I like to read biographies, memoirs, nonfiction. Recently, I reread Clare Cooper Marcus' wonderful book, House as a Mirror of Self.

 

Page One: Tell us about Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing. How did this book come to be? How did you compile the letters for the book?

Deborah Berger: Dear Mom was born because I realized that virtually every woman had a story to tell about her mother. And, almost every woman had something she had never told her mother - because she ran out of time, because she was afraid, because she didn't realize it at the time. I remember talking with a woman whose mother had died when she was still in her teens. There were all these conversations she hadn't been able to have with her mother. She wanted to share so much of what had happened since her Mom had died. Writing a letter is a way to do that. Other women had very specific things they had never dared to say - but they carried them deep in their hearts, and wanted to bring them to light.

I spent several weeks refining the idea and working on a letter I could send to potential contributors explaining the concept. I started with a network of women, asked for referrals, and the referrals gave me more leads. The project just took off from there.

 

Page One: When people hear about the book, what do they say?

Deborah Berger: Most often, they start talking about their own experiences, their joys and struggles with their mothers. They are also curious about the letters, and about the women who wrote them. Each letter is followed by a biographical profile of the writer, so you do get to know more about her. I found readers really liked that. And it was wonderful for me.

One woman called me to say that she read Dear Mom, cried at various parts, and then called her sisters. They all agreed to write to their mother as a special gift for Mother's Day. Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing was the impetus for this! I think many readers may react by wanting to write their own letter. So I've included a section "Writing Your Own Dear Mom Letter" , to help readers on their own Dear Mom journeys.

 

Page One: Are you working on a follow up? Or something totally different?

Deborah Berger: Yes.
Dear Mom: Women's Letters of Love, Loss, and Longing is the first in a series of 4 books. My next book will be Dear Dad: Letters from Daughters

 

 

 

(c) 2002 Deborah Berger, again focusing on the private, hidden truths that have such power in our lives. These books are an exploration and an adventure.
For the contributors - and for the readers. And, of course, for me.