The
Last Refuge
by William Elliott Hazelgrove
Mark Twain said
many years ago, “that the last refuge of scoundrels is
patriotism.” As I watched the republican convention last night I
knew Twain was laughing in attendance. The parade of a desperate
party was for all to see as the only thing the republicans could do
was parade old veterans across the stage and have a has-been actor
retell the John McCain story of incarceration complete with
Hollywood details. Country, Country, Country the converted screamed.
It is all they have left isn’t it? When in doubt call in the last
refuge, call in patriotism and talk about dead heroes and pray for a
good war for a good country to win. That’s really all the
republicans can offer anymore, warmed over nationalism and fear.
It worked before.
Mightily. They are coming. The hordes are coming. It worked well in
the last wars, the Huns, the Japs, Al Qaida. They are coming and if
you are not with us then you are against us. Look at our stage. It
is one gigantic flag. It is an ocean. It is John McCain as a young
man returning from Vietnam. It is Reagan. It is all the good things
that make us Americans and decent and God Fearing and loyal and
patriotic. Not like that angry left that wouldn’t know a
Congressional Medal of Honor Winner if they hit them in the face.
You know why? They don’t have any! All the good soldiers are
republicans because we are the party of this country and you are the
party of the gays and the blacks and the drug dealers and the
welfare queens and the George Bush didn’t stumble all over his words
at YOUR convention. He and Laura bulldozed their way through their
Teleprompters for us! Because we are the true Americans! And believe
me, when the #@$% hits the fan, then we will be there on that line.
Well, you get the
point. The truth is the republicans have become dinosaurian. It
looked like a Leave It To Beaver jamboree. Tight lipped conservative
women in Nancy Regan dresses and marine cut young republicans and
fat bloated old republicans. White. White White. We are the last
white party! This is our moniker. This is the last stop on the
good train nostalgia and if you don’t catch this one then you will
probably end up with a black President and God knows what else. I
mean, we have a woman on the ticket. We are progressive. So she has
five kids and a pregnant teen. She wants creationism taught in our
schools and she’s a knockout! She kind of looks progressive and hip
and sassy with her glasses and pinned up hair. And don’t they make a
fine looking couple, John and Sara.
But in the end it
was all pathetic. The man who was a near a microphone who kept
yelling, YEAAAAAAH, every time Fred Thompson dished up one of corny
metaphors, lampooning the left and asserting that people who can
field dress a moose deserve to be in the White House. He was
embarrassing. An actor who doesn’t know he is not on Law and Order
anymore. But it didn’t matter. Every time someone uttered country,
the crowd broke into fraternity chants, USA, USA,USA. It is the only
thing this tired old antiquated party can do now. Stir up the pot
and head for the last refuge of all scoundrels who know their days
are numbered.
William Elliott
Hazelgrove
www.billhazelgrove.com
bill@billhazelgrove.com
