Beginning Again
by William Hazelgrove
You know you would think after
finishing three published novels and many more unpublished novels
that starting a new novel would not be difficult but the truth
is it is like riding a bicycle the first time every time. Some
would say this is not true and that it does become easier. I
will say this: writing the same type of novel becomes easier
but to write something truly new and different without relying
on the same old devices and crutches is like learning to write
all over again. I think the only way writing really works is
when one throws all that one has learned overboard and opens
oneself again to the inspiration of the divine, the thrill of
the discovery, and the agony of possible defeat. Only then can
one have a chance for revelation, ingenuity, the maracle of originality.
I beleive learning to write again is the only way for the writer
to remain honest and not cheat and take refuge in the safe harbor
of others wakes. This is very difficult. It is more difficult
if one has thrown a few books onto the dusty shelves of libraries.
These books tug at you as you attempt something new. These books
say, "look here, do what you know, just change a few things
around, have a glass of wine and quit all this brain twisting
in the fuitile pursuit of writing something new and different.You've
done it three times now. Why try it again?" I often ask
myself this question as I sit and face the blank screen and feel
my novel is a rock gathering steady moss on a very steep incline.
I must have already given up on the new novel three times, declaring,
it doesnt' work. Give it up! But then I return the next day and
sit back down to learn anew. I suppose that is why one takes
it on in the first place. There is something very humbling about
starting a new novel and all the ego gets quickly washed away
with the thought that maybe your talent has just vanished over
the next hill. Then, slowly, maybe it's the third time in a week...the
flame flickers then begins to catch. You fan the flames and suddenly
you are on a steady burn. You remember why you came in the first
place and the world is right again. You are writing.
